Thursday, August 2, 2012

Letter from Charlene Spierer

August 2, 2012

To Whom This May Concern:

It sickens me to write to you once again, but I have no choice.   Time continues to pass and I cannot let you forget about Lauren.    Rebecca recently said she holds close those people who knew Lauren.   I realized in that moment that our lives will be forever defined as the time before Lauren disappeared and the time after.   Another thing you and I share, the before and the after.  For me, living without Lauren, it’s the little things in my day-to-day life which are the most difficult.  The things that aren’t mentioned.  Getting mail addressed to Lauren, walking past her room just as she left it the last time she was home, still waiting for her return.  The unpacked boxes I cannot bear to move.  The notice Rob has hidden away among so many other pieces of mail, from the Department of Motor Vehicles.  It’s Lauren’s.  It arrived shortly before her 21st birthday.  We try to shield each other from more pain.  It is impossible to do. 

On June 4, 2011, we were hoping for Lauren’s rescue.  That’s what the Bloomington Police Department was hoping for as well.  As time passed, we were hoping for Lauren’s recovery.  Today we are waiting to find out if the remains found in the White River belong to Lauren.  We wait along with other families of missing loved ones.  It could take as long as eight weeks.  That’s 80,640 minutes of agony.  We are waiting to find out if a skull found in the White River might be Lauren’s.  It’s chilling to say the words.  I find it incomprehensible that if by chance you are reading this, you know the answer already.   I recently read that the White River is 362 miles long.  I am guessing that if you placed Lauren in a body of water, the current could have relocated her to another area.   I can’t say that I have read anything about decomposition or what might happen to a body that has been in water for over a year.  Though this past year has taught me things I never would have expected to learn, decomposition is one area I refuse to explore.   Lauren’s DNA and dental records are on file with CODIS.  “CODIS is the acronym for the “Combined DNA Index System” and is the generic term used to describe the FBI’s program of support for criminal justice DNA databases as well as the software used to run those databases. The National DNA Index System or NDIS is considered one part of CODIS, the national level, containing the DNA profiles contributed by federal, state, and local participating forensic laboratories.” We continue to wait for the results from the Marion County coroner’s office.  
You may or may not be a parent.  Somehow I doubt that you are a parent.  I guarantee you have no idea what it’s like, waiting to find out if the remains recovered from any number of places are those of your child.   I hope I am making you uncomfortable.  I hope you have as many sleepless nights as I have.  I hope that some day, your parents, your siblings, your friends will all be in a courtroom when your true self is revealed, the self which was born on June 3, 2011 when you took Lauren from us.
We were shocked when several people hired attorneys within days of Lauren’s disappearance.   Five young men, five attorneys.   I’m still not sure why they felt it was necessary.  I know hiring an attorney is not an admission of guilt, however it leads me to believe there was something to hide.   Questions remain unanswered and law enforcement polygraphs remain untaken.  We are still without Lauren.  Did you hire an attorney?   I wonder if you are among those who continue to refuse to cooperate with the Bloomington Police Department.  You can well imagine, a year later, those conducting the investigation have more questions which need to be answered.  And yet those that could help, refuse to do so.   Who are you?  Did you go on any searches?   Maybe you were no longer in Bloomington as thousands helped look for Lauren.  Did you use Lauren’s disappearance to your advantage?   Have we met?  Time will tell.  So many questions.   I will never forgive those who could have helped and did not.  Though I doubt my sentiments matter to you, I will never forget you for as long as I live. I hope that every time you look into a mirror you remember the choices you made on June 3, 2011.  I hope with every breath you take, you remember Lauren.
 We are grateful to all those who continue to make sure Lauren’s tragic story stays alive.  There are many who stand beside us in our quest for answers.   No matter what happened on June 3, 2011, the fact that Lauren seemingly vanished into thin air is undeniable and for that you are responsible.  I trust that Lauren will have her day and justice will be served.  Until that time, we remain steadfast in our search for answers which will lead us to Lauren.
Charlene Spierer

If you have any information regarding Lauren’s disappearance, please contact us.

Bloomington Police Department – 812.339.4477
Find Lauren – PO Box 1226 – Bloomington, Indiana 47402
Beau Dietl & Associates – 800.777.9366

Missing and loving you, Lauren, every second of every day.  Mom, Dad and Rebecca